Valentine’s Day Survival Guide: Embrace Love in All Its Forms

Whether you’re blissfully married, navigating the swampy waters of a “it’s complicated” situationship, or just opting for a cozy night in with your beloved pet, Valentine’s Day strikes again. Perhaps you find yourself paired with a true romantic who goes all out for an enchanted evening, or maybe you’re stuck with a Valentine’s Grinch who grumbles, “Valentine’s Day is too commercialized,” and for others you’re the one feeling disenchanted with this potentially cringe-filled holiday. No matter your situation, our Valentine’s Day Survival Guide is here to help you face the day with humor, grace, and a sprinkle of creativity. After all, Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love; it’s about celebrating the myriad forms of love we experience in our lives.

The History of Valentine’s Day

Now, the history of Valentine’s Day could be a whole post on it’s own, but since not everyone wants to go on a full, history nerd-out session, I’ll just give you a taste of some of the many interesting facts and legends. Let’s dig in. Valentine’s Day, celebrated February 14th, has its origins rooted in both ancient Roman and Christian traditions. The holiday is named after Saint Valentine, a Christian martyr who lived during the Roman Empire. One popular legend suggests that Valentine was a priest who defied Emperor Claudius II’s ban on marriage for young soldiers. The Emperor believed that single men made better warriors, and maybe he was right—all that pent up sexual energy and rage had to go somewhere, but I digress. Anyway, Saint Valentine married couples in secret, which ultimately led to his imprisonment, torture, and decapitation on February 14th around 269 AD. Legend also suggests that during his time in prison he fell in love with his jailer’s daughter, leaving her a note signed…you guessed it—from your Valentine!

The Darker Shade of History

Valentine’s Day, with its hearts and Teddy bears, may seem like a sweet celebration, but its roots dig deep into ancient pagan traditions. Back in those days, the Romans celebrated Lupercalia, a wild festival, filled with fertility rites and more than a dash of debauchery. Think sacrificial goats, overflowing cups of wine, and matchmaking games that would make even the boldest brute blush. These pleasure-seeking pagans would even take pieces of the goat hides, cut them into strips, and whip the women with them—a practice believed to boost fertility, a la Fifty Shades of Hay.

Cupid

Even this chubby little cherub wasn’t always the innocent archer we see today; in fact, he was often depicted as a mischievous young man wielding his powerful weapon with reckless abandon. Originally known as Eros in Greek mythology, he was often portrayed with a bow and arrows, which he would use to strike the hearts of gods and mortals alike, causing them to fall madly in love, or in some cases, to create chaos and jealousy—depending on his mood. Before we turned him into a rosey-cheeked child, Cupid was a bad boy. As Cupid’s image became more popular in art and literature, he was evolved into a symbol of innocence and whimsy like we see gracing our cards and decorations today.

Mating Season

The romantic aspect of Valentine’s Day began to take shape around the 14th century, thanks to the famous poet Geoffrey Chaucer. In his poem, “Parliament of Fowls,” written in 1382, Chaucer cleverly connected the day to the season when birds choose their mates. This connection sparked a charming tradition where lovers began sending romantic letters to one another, coinciding with the bird mating season.

Valentine’s cards began to emerge in the 18th century, when people started exchanging handwritten notes and little tokens of affection. The first mass-produced Valentine’s cards are believed to have been created in the early 19th century in the United States, with Esther A. Howland being one of the first to produce them commercially in the 1840s.

Enjoy Valentine’s Day Your Way

From ancient fertility rites to Cupid’s crazy matchmaking, we’ve unraveled (some of) the tangled tapestry of Valentine’s Day’s origin. Now, let’s take a page from our historical predecessors, who remind us that love doesn’t have to be confined to a heart-shaped box. So whether you’re channeling your inner romantic, or embracing your inner cynic, it’s time to explore some creative ways to celebrate this day on your own terms.

Celebrating Single

I’m starting with you, my single friends, couples get enough preferential treatment on this day. If you’re feeling blue, let’s get you feeling a little more unbothered. Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you should feel left out. In fact, it’s the perfect occasion to embrace self-love and treat yourself to a day of pampering. Nobody can love you as good as you. Spend the day indulging in your favorite activities: book a spa day, binge-watch your favorite chick flicks, or take yourself on a solo date. Browse a bookstore, visit your local art museum, check out some vintage stores, or pull up in a cozy cafe. Celebrate your independence and remind yourself that love comes in many forms, including the love you show yourself. Be grateful that you are not stuck some toxic relationship, and be proud of all the work you’ve done on yourself. You don’t need someone to validate you, because you know you are completely whole and valuable on your own. Chris Rock famously said, “You can either be married and bored or single and lonely,” so yeah…just remember how things might really look from the other side.

Sinking Situation-ships

Are you dating this guy? You know, the one who always wants to have Netflix and chill dates, but doesn’t communicate and often leaves you feeling confused? So, what should you do on Valentine’s Day if you’re in a situationship? The answer is simple—nothing. Other than take a look at why you’re in that situation. Is the connection healthy or beneficial for you in some way? Is it aligned with what you want for yourself in the future? If not, then maybe reach out to your girlfriends instead.

Galentine’s Day

As I was researching this post, I realized that although we see the word Galentine all over this time of year, and I’ve even hosted my own Galentine’s Day celebration—I didn’t know the origin of the phrase until now. I was delighted to discover that it actually originated from one of my favorite comedy shows, Parks and Recreation, back in 2010. The holiday, is technically celebrated on February 13th, and encourages us to honor our female friendships. In the episode titled “Galentine’s Day,” Leslie Knope (played by the hilarious Amy Poehler) takes her friends out for breakfast, gives them personalized gifts, and reminds women everywhere to celebrate “ovaries before brovaries.” So grab your girlfriends and go out, or have them over for a chill evening in. Pizza and PJs. Charcuterie and champagne. Perhaps you have them for a ladies tea, or simply meet for a casual cup of coffee. The point is to connect with the special people in your life and show your pals some love. Bonus if you know their love language, and can connect specifically in that way. Wish you had more time to plan something for your ladies? You do. Anytime is a perfect time to celebrate the love of our true friends.

Couples Connections

Now, you may not realize based on my approach to writing about this lesser-loved holiday, but I am a romantic at heart. So let us go deeper and talk the language of luv-ahs. Whether you’re in an exciting new relationship, where you can hardly keep from tearing each other’s clothes off (wink), or you’re settled into a more comfortable, less dopamine-fulled partnership, Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful opportunity to strengthen your bond. Here are a few tips to make for an evening you both enjoy.

Focus on Appreciation

One of the reasons Valentine’s Day can be annoying to some, and disappointing to others, is a matter of expectations. It’s the flowers, gifts, dinner, and pressure of grand romantic gestures. As much as that’s all wonderful, if expectations aren’t managed properly people can be disappointed. Instead focus on appreciation. What are you grateful for about your partner, and the time you’re able to spend with them. Whether words of appreciation is your love language or not, hearing your partner share what they love and appreciate about you always feels good. Also, don’t forget the impact of a thoughtful card with a personalized message. Appreciation is free and will stick in their mind longer than a box of chocolates.

Be Present

Be fully present with your partner. Put your phone away, make eye contact, listen instead of spacing out, and make them feel seen and heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give someone we love is our undivided attention, showing them that even in a world full of distractions, they are important to us. Speaking of eye contact, In her ground-breaking research, anthropologist Helen Fisher, has shown that couples who are deeply in love tend to exhibit a very significant amount of eye contact, “with prolonged eye gaze potentially increasing romantic attraction between individuals; this is often linked to the activation of the brain’s reward system when looking into a loved one’s eyes, signifying a strong connection and heightened feelings of intimacy.” When was the last time you actually gazed lovingly into your partner’s eyes?

Get a Little Silly

Adult life can be hard, and boring, so why not loosen up and get a little silly sometimes? Check out a comedy show, or watch some standup on Netflix. Laugh until your cheeks hurt. Sing karaoke. Dance in the club or in the kitchen. Play—board games, sexy games, sexy boardroom role-play games maybe…whatever you like to spice it up.

Talk of the Future

Dr. John Gottman, has said “relationships die in the conversations that never happen.” The future is certainly not guaranteed, and provided you love your person, and want be with them, consider talking about it. Dream together a little bit. What kind of adventures could you have? Where do you wanna go? Do you have any goals as a couple, or goals you want your partner’s support on? However, this should have a positive focus—I wouldn’t bring up something like ‘pay down debt,’ on such a festive occasion. Unless of course, Dave Ramsey excites you both. Otherwise, keep it to the more uplifting projections of the future.

Celebrate with Your Baby: Your Fur Baby

A study was recently brought to my attention that stated, 85% of pet lovers would rather spend Valentine’s Day with their pet than their partner. Honestly, I’m not surprised at all. Of course we do. I love my cat more than most people. It’s because our pets love us unconditionally, they don’t judge, or nag, or require us to look presentable. Another survey revealed that 43% of people plan to buy Valentine’s gifts for their pets, compared to 42% who plan to buy them for their partners. So show your little familiar some extra love whether that’s a special treat, playtime with their favorite toy, all the cuddles, or a long walk around the park.

This Valentine’s Day, let’s take back the holiday and redefine it as a celebration of all kinds of love. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or surrounded by friends, there are countless ways to express appreciation and affection. Love is a universal language, and it deserves to be celebrated in all its forms. So, embrace the day with an open heart, and don’t forget to show yourself a little love too.

Lastly, I want to share my love and appreciation for you, my friend. Thanks for stopping by. If you enjoyed this post please spread the Valentine’s love and share it with your friends! Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more lifestyle tips and exclusive content.

xoxo

Laura

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